Fingers: Well beachhouse Bernie Sanders made a ton of loot in 2016 how much you may ask, find out next on the Enough Already Daily Brief(ly).
Fingers: This is the Enough Already Daily Brief(ly) I’m Fingers Malloy, she’s Tracy L. Connors. Tracy, Bernie Sanders is a rich, rich revolutionary. You have the story.
Tracy: I do. This is from Vermont’s Independent Voice (whatever the hell that is) Seven Days. Bernie Sanders made more than a million dollars in 2016 Fingers.
Fingers: How’d he do that?
Tracy: It mostly comes from the sales of his books, and the advances.
Tracy: So he got a $795,000 advance for his best-selling book, Our Revolution. And he got another $63,750 for his forthcoming the Bernie Sanders Guide to Political Revolution, which is a book aimed at young readers, so he can get them red before they’re done wetting the bed.
Fingers: Is it a pop-up book?
Tracy: I don’t know. Just imagine the supermarket shelves in that book. They pop up and there’s one can of soup, one kind of deodorant, one kind of toothpaste. It’s an amazing world!
Fingers: Ok $795,000.
Tracy: Yes, plus $63,750 plus he got royalties from a memoir that he wrote in 1997, those only totaled about seven thousand dollars. So all totaled together that’s $865,000 for his book, and then there’s the salary that he gets as a senator, which is $174,000. Which puts him at over a million dollars.
Tracy: Yeah. And this only came out now, it’s part of his financial disclosure form which all senators have to do, but he filed for an extension on that.
Fingers: The retail revolutionary. Worst revolutionary Tracy, in the history of revolutionaries.
Tracy: Why? He’s making out like a bandit.
Fingers: But what revolution is he leading?
Fingers: I mean would a revolutionary cave at the DNC like he did?
Tracy: Never. A revolutionary would have shut that thing down. He would have been out on the streets demanding fairness, rallying the troops, and they were there but he was inside in the air conditioning.
Fingers: He’s a cranky old white man. Which I’m told is exactly what liberals hate. They don’t want to be told what to do by cranky old white men in Washington.
Tracy: Excuse me, he’s a cranky old rich white man.
Fingers: The revolution will be monetized Tracy.
Fingers: That’s the Enough Already Daily Brief(ly) I’m Fingers Malloy she’s Tracy L. Connors.