Daily Brief(ly) News

Daily Brief(ly) – Hold the Onions


Fingers: Man shows everyone his onions, over onions. That’s up next on the Enough Already Daily Brief(ly)

Fingers: This is the Enough Already Daily Brief(ly) I’m Fingers Malloy, she’s Tracy L. Connors. Tracy, do you like onions?

Tracy: No.

Fingers: You don’t like onions?

Tracy: No, I do not.

Fingers: You know who else doesn’t like onions?

Tracy: Who?

Fingers: Yuba Sharma.

Tracy: I’m not familiar with Yuba. Tell me more.

Fingers: You have the story.

Tracy: Oh, then I’ll tell you more. This is from the Toronto Sun – Upset over onions – drunk man exposes himself and threatens to shoot restaurant owner. This incident went down in Pittsburgh. A Michigan man, apparently was upset because his food included onions, is jailed on charges he made drunken threats to shoot the owner of a Pittsburgh restaurant before exposing himself.Forty-three-year-old Yuba Sharma, of Rochester, remained in the Allegheny County Jail on Thursday on charges of terroristic threats, indecent exposure, public drunkenness and resisting arrest.Police say Sharma ate at All Indiana restaurant on Monday night and then returned Tuesday to rant and complain about the onions.

Fingers: So, this is what happened. He eats the onions. He’s upset about the onions. Rather than doing anything at the time he ate them, he went home. He went to bed. He stewed over his onions, all night long. Then he shows up the next day and shows everyone his onions.

Tracy: Correct. It sounds like a good retaliatory tactic. 

Fingers: I’ve never met someone so passionate about onions.

Tracy: And then it’s worth threatening to shoot someone and dropping trou over. So this is what I shall do next time someone accidentally puts onions on a hoagie of mine.

Fingers: And that’s the Enough Already Daily Brief(ly) I’m Fingers Malloy, she’s Tracy L. Connors.