Since getting his geriatric ass kicked by Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primary last year, the junior Senator from Vermont just can’t seem to catch a break. Sure he purchased a half-million dollar vacation home, continues to speak to packed venues, and has published a book that made it onto The New York Time’s Best Seller list, but other than that, life hasn’t been great for Bernie.
His bad luck streak continued this week. The Senator’s visit to the St. Alban’s Ben and Jerry’s factory took a terribly unexpected turn that resulted in the Senator becoming trapped for more than 34 hours inside a giant ice cream container.
The Senator was embarrassed to find himself lodged inside the oversized container, so didn’t mention his predicament to the assembled crowd. For the first several hours, the audience demonstrated incredible patience and humored the stuck Senator’s anti-capitalist screed. The 5pm rolled around and the room cleared quickly. Bernie was left to talk endlessly to himself, as evidenced by security footage.
The following morning when the factory reopened, Sean Miller, an ice cream engineer realized that the Senator was still at the podium prattling on about the wonders that await us when we have Medicare for all. Miller approached the Senator who seemed to be in a daze and asked him if he needed assistance. Sanders seemingly snapped back to reality, and informed Miller that he was stuck.
Miller called 911. Rescue workers arrived on the scene and after several failed attempts were able to free the Senator from his cardboard captor. Sanders managed to contain his composer, and continued speaking about the wonders of Democratic Socialism throughout the entire ordeal.
After receiving medical attention, the Senator headed to his lake house to rest and recuperate. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Bernie and his family.
When we stand up and fight back we can change the country in very positive ways. pic.twitter.com/U4jSzrFaK5
— Bernie Sanders (@SenSanders) April 14, 2017